Austen vs. Shakespeare

A request from a faithful reader: Austen recasts Hamlet's famous monologue scene.  For the original, refer to Hamlet, Act III, Scene 1.

After an hour in the Austen Oven (and now a little overcooked!):

Just Hamlet and she were left in the chamber.  Hamlet stood with his back to her, his face towards the the darkness.  It was a calm night; wickedly so.  In her hand she clutched a small bag of his remembrances;  though she had received them with much joy when they were given, they seemed now to be meagre, and like their intent, without worth.  Hamlet began to speak.  'To be or not to be - that is the question,' he said softly.  Ophelia did not answer; she knew he did not expect, or want, a reply.  He continued to speak for many minutes, much of which she did not understand; but she felt the scent of cruelty, and desperation, that coloured his words.  She recalled what a confidante had said once - 'he suffers an unsteadiness of feeling, of jagged thought, and gloom of mind.'  She had not agreed then, but now she heard truth in Hamlet's unsettled mutterings.

'The fair Ophelia!  It pains me to look at you,' said Hamlet suddenly, breaking his monologue. 

'Good day, my lord,' she answered.  'Are you well?'

'I thank you for asking!  I am indeed well.'

Ophelia thought him to be gazing at her with hate.  His mouth was twisting with terrible words he would not utter.  'My lord, I have remembrances of yours that I have long been wishing to return to you.  Please take them,' she said.

'It was not I that gave them to you,' he answered.

'My lord, you are no doubt aware that you did give them to me, with the sweetest of words, and treasure them I did, but no more.  They have lost their gleam; when the givers prove unkind, they sparkle no longer.  Here,' said she, holding the bag out to him.  Hamlet stared long at his gifts now dimly lit; without light to improve them, they seemed all shadow.

It is a strange torment to be thus, Ophelia