I'm first going to take on a literary giant amongst children and adults: J.K.Rowling. Rowling is heavy on description but less so on thoughts and feelings, so this will be interesting at least.
Harry had
never even imagined such a strange and splendid place. It was lit by thousands and thousands of
candles which were floating in mid-air over four long tables, where the rest of
the students were sitting. These tables
were laid with glittering golden plates and goblets. At the top of the hall was another long table
where the teachers were sitting.
Professor McGonagall led the first years up here, so that they came to a
halt in a line facing the other students, with the teachers behind them. The hundreds of faces staring at them looked
like pale lanterns in the flickering candlelight. Dotted here and there among the students, the
ghosts shone misty silver. Mainly to
avoid all the staring eyes, Harry looked upwards and saw a velvety black
ceiling dotted with stars. He heard
Hermione whisper, 'It's bewitched to look like the sky outside, I read about it
in Hogwarts, a History.'
After Roasting in the Austen Oven
Harold had never even imagined such a strange, splendid place. It was lit by thousands upon thousands of candles, which were floating over four long tables, which were laid with glittering goblets, and golden plates that caught the light. The students were seated at these tables; at the top of the hall was yet another long table facing the students at which the teachers presided. Professor McGonagall led the new students up to the teachers' table, and turned them so they could see the faces of hundreds of the other students, and even those of the ghosts, which drifted around as their mood took them. Harold looked up to avoid all those eyes, and saw a velvety black ceiling, dotted with shiny stars; Miss Granger whispered beside him, 'It is bewitched to seem like the sky outside; I read so in the book 'Hogwarts: a History.'
Ophelia, 2012
Which is the preferred version?
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